spring has been returned to me

Yesterday, almost immediately after posting this fic, I got an Instagram reel where the creator said something along the lines of "When men are 35 and say that they don't wanna settle down, what are they waiting for? To be completely bald??" and like. Seungkwan to Jeonghan about Seungcheol.

( under the cut, commentary )

You know the drill, I'm an Olivie Blake apologist, she's one of my favorite writers and has influenced how I write both in my professional work but especially in fic, and I buy every single one of her books.

Here's my ranking of her books out via Tor in order. I am not including the Alexene Farol Fullmuth books because they are separate entities (read: YA) and I haven't actually finished them yet. I am also not including the short story collections, though I would rank them on the higher end of the spectrum because there is such a wide array of ideas and and concepts and moods that I just really adore them and I think they would be a great starting point in getting used to her distinct voice.

Moving on!


In dead (heh.) last, Masters of Death.

I believe this was one of her first published novels (via self-publishing) and the growing pains here shows. That's not to say that parts of it weren't fascinating, but I think that she really struggled here—to me—to find a throughline that made sense. It was all over the place. Which is upsetting, because what I love so much about her works is how masterfully (again, hehe.) she builds a world with an ensemble cast that feels like they're real and breathing.

I didn't buy any of the romances here. I really wish I did. It felt too wink-nudge, aren't I clever? to me.

One for My Enemy

Like, I certainly read a book. I think the thing about writing a Romeo & Juliet story is that there are only so many ways to subvert it. And I'm not sure that this did anything even close to subversion. It was readable, but I don't remember a thing about it. It was fine.

The Atlas Series

Read the first two books in the series and then read a fic instead. It's a better experience. I was so angry when I finished the third book. And I get it, that she wanted to illustrate the power of choices and how they affect others and all of that, but I think that what she did, and what she made with these characters, ultimately broke apart all of the world building she'd set up. It felt like it was all for nothing.

(It's about here where I would put the short story collections. I have my personal favorites, but "The Audit" from Januaries actually gets mentioned in Gifted and Talented, which is such a flex. There's also an epistolary story in I think The Answer You Are Looking for Is Yes that gives me butterflies and makes me want to write a confession scene with that much heart. Ugh.) 

Alone With You in the Ether

This book makes me sob. I think that the way that she writes about the desire for Purpose and relationships with parents and finding love and adulthood and the fear of the unknown is done so beautifully here. I find something new to latch onto with every read, and I find parts of myself in every character, in every voice in this book.

Gifted and Talented

Recency bias probably, but this had me laughing out loud. I think that the ensemble cast and the twists and turns of her works are done the best here. Like, this genuinely felt like I was 23 reading ride or die until 4 am all over again. I think the desire to be loved by a parent and the fear of failure and not meeting expectations feels the most human here. I think that despite being perhaps her most awful, unlikeable cast of characters, they might be the ones I relate to the most. The way that they wear the things that people say about them on their sleeves and how they slowly shed their skin to become better...ish versions of themselves is lovely. And most of all, this book is about a parent-child relationship, and the fear of projecting your shortcomings onto your child. The contrast between a loving mother and child, and the relationship the MCs had with their father is startling and heartbreaking.

Did I mention I thought this book was a lot of fun?